Thursday, April 3, 2014

Facebook Rewrites Genesis 1:27

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male, female, agender, androgyne, androgynous, bigender, cis, cis female, cis male, cis man, cis woman, cisgender, cisgender female, cisgender male, cisgender man, cisgender woman, female to male, FTM, gender fluid, gender nonconforming, gender questioning, gender variant, genderqueer, intersex, male to female, MTF, neither, neutrois, non-binary, other, pangender, trans, trans female, trans male, trans man, trans person, trans woman, trans*, trans* female, trans* male, trans* man, trans* person, trans* woman, transfeminine, transgender, transgender female, transgender male, transgender man, transgender person, transgender woman, transmasculine, transsexual, transsexual female, transsexual male, transsexual man, transsexual person, transsexual woman, and two-spirit created he them."

At this point, I think they would do well to remove the entire text between verse 27 through Geneses 6:5 and continue it here: 

"And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them."
That about sums it up.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

How To Speak In Tongues

Wow! Don't bother watching the attached video. It is approximately 60 wasted minutes of inane, heretical drivel and unbiblical happycrap just to lead up to the actual how-to instructions which took about 30 seconds. Simply take a deep breath and then force out a string of mindless, disconnected, incoherant syllables.

I didn't find these "lessons" very helpful so I appealed to a different source. I found help when I became "filled" with corn chips from the Frito-Lay company. Near the bottom of the bag, when I was well-filled, I found an unusual chip with a dark spot that resembled a motorcycle. That was a sign; that was my miracle. That's when the great potato spirit brought to my mind, Japanese motor cycles.

The potato spirit gave me utterance as I recalled all the different brands; Suzuki, Yamaha, Honda, Kawasaki. That's when I knew I was on to something. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, emptied my mind, and opened my mouth, all while thinking about Frito-Lay's chips. Then it happened; the utterances just flowed naturally. "Hondalay, hondalay suzukilay fritolay, kawasakilay hondalay yamahamalay."
There, I've got it. I feel so much better, now, knowing that I will spend eternity in motorcycle heaven feasting on potato chips.

Next week I am going to try to learn how to regrow missing limbs while smacking amputees upside the head.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Crotchety Old Cranks, Crabs and Sour Pusses

I have worked with old people (or to be more politically correct; "people of age") for about 20 years and now I am one.  I first wrote this post in Nov of 2007 but it is still relevant because there is always a new group of codgers coming up to replace the old dead codgers.  

Have you heard the one about the old guy who entered the diner and asked, “Do you serve crabs here?”
The waitress responded, “Sure, have a seat sir; we’ll serve anyone.”

I stopped at a fast food restaurant one day last year just before Christmas. After the friendly clerk politely received my order, I moved aside and an old woman stepped to the counter. The same clerk took her order. “There you go!” she said pleasantly as she handed the woman a cup for the self-serve beverage bar.

The woman grumbled something unintelligible; I didn’t quite catch it; neither did the server.  “Pardon me?” she replied.

“There you go! THERE YOU GO!” snapped the customer. By now she was loud and obnoxious and had everyone’s attention. “Doesn’t anybody know how to say ‘thank you’ anymore?”

“Thank you,” the server responded curtly.

At the beverage bar, the customer became even more incensed as she found the coffee dispenser empty. I could tell this was going to get worse.

“Hey Miss ‘There You Go,’ the coffee pot is empty, ” she mockingly yelled at the counter clerk.

“Thank you” the server sharply replied as she moved quickly to refill the pot and then sarcastically snapped back, “There you go.” By now I was really amused by this incident and I found myself chuckling at the subtle, retaliatory justice the server was enjoying.

The amazing thing about the whole exchange is that the old woman was not a bit embarrassed by her own bad manners nor was she appreciative of the immediate, attentive service she received in spite of her rudeness. Instead, she continued to rant about how nobody is respectful or well-mannered anymore.

We often excuse that kind of bad behavior in older people, but there is no excuse for it; crankiness and rudeness are not normal results of the ageing process regardless of circumstances. In fact, as we grow older, we tend to become more of what we already are. Polite people become more pleasant in their old age. Rude and cranky people become more crass and obnoxious with the passing of time.

“Let your speech be always full of grace.” Col. 4:6

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Well How Did All That Hopey-Changey Stuff Work Out For You?

YOU voted for Him so quit your bellyaching.  Please forgive me for making this personal by using the pronoun, YOU.  Maybe you didn't vote for Him but the fact is, Obama won His elections by getting a little over 50% of the votes.  That means that, out of every two people in the room, one voted for Him and I know IT WASN’T ME (or I) SO, STATISTICALLY SPEAKING, IT HAD TO BE YOU.

Okay, I get it.  You voted for a guy without credentials, qualifications, experience, and credibility just because you wanted to feel good about being a part of an historic event that seated America’s first black president.  I know, you thought it was going to be the beginning of world peace, the end of racism in America and all that other irrelevant happycrap.  Well how did all that hopey-changey stuff work out for you?  Not so well, huh?  And why you voted for Him again a second time, I have no idea.  Nevertheless, now, thanks to you, we are all stuck with this lying, dithering, vacationing, inept, law-breaking tyrant for three more years until we get a chance to possibly redeem our Constitutional Republic from the grips of His Marxist regime (if it’s not too late).

But I am fearfully skeptical.  The reality is that lots of people are just slow learners and are willing to do the same stupid thing all over again hoping for different results.  You will run gleefully to the polls, ignoring facts and shunning reason, and you will proudly cast an irresponsible vote for a disastrous candidate just so that, next time, you can feel all warm and fuzzy about electing America’s first female president.  By the way, Hillary tried to pass her version of Obamacare, and failed, long before Obama even thought about it.  

I can’t talk you out of acting stupidly.  All I can do is pass on information so that you might be  equipped with sufficient knowledge to make a wise decision. You may recall, before you elected Him, He told us exactly what He intended to do.  You just didn’t listen and now He’s doing it.

If only one out of every 100 fools changes his ways in the next election, we may get another chance so this time LISTEN.  Just like Obama, Hillary has said plenty to give us a glimpse of what she believes and how she will preside. You might guess that the following quotes could have been uttered by the likes of Karl Marx, Adolph Hitler,  Joseph Stalin, Lenin, Mussolini, Idi Amin, Nikita Khrushev, Josef Goebbels, Mao Tse Tung, Hugo Chavez, Kim Jong Il, or even Barack Obama.  But you would be wrong.  These words flowed freely from the heart and over the lips of Hillary Clinton.  So read them carefully and then next time, go vote Right.  If you continue to deliberately remain uninformed, fail to exercise discernment, thumb your nose at wise counsel, and continue to vote stupidly, we will get the government YOU deserve.

H/T to THE MASTER’S SLAVE  for compiling the following Hillary Clinton quotes:

1.      “We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”

2.      “It’s time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few…And to replace it with shared responsibility, for share prosperity.”

3.      “(We)…can’t just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people.”

4.      “We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up a little bit of their own…in order to create this common ground.”

5.      “I certainly think the free-market (system) has failed.”

6.      “I think it’s time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in (the) entire economy, that they are being watched.”

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Spiritual Fast Food

     Pastor, is your church bibliocentric?  How much gospel preaching and expositional bible teaching do you accomplish in your church in one year?   Let’s run the numbers and see just how much the average church-goer hears if he attends one service each week for one year.
     The average length of a morning worship (and I use that term loosely) service is 90 minutes.  That adds up to 78 hours per year.
     After greetings and hugging, announcements, singing, special performances, and offerings, there are approximately 40 minutes left for a sermon (some churches go longer but they run the risk of losing those who are in a hurry to get to the restaurant in front of the crowds).  That leaves you just about 34.5 hours.
     Thirty four and a half hours of bible teaching per year.  That’s not bad except for all those other things.  If yours is a large church with a sizeable music department, there will be approximately three (maybe four) Sundays each year when your preaching will be suspended for a major musical/drama production.  That reduces your preaching time down to about 30 hours per year.  But wait.  What about the children?  Sunday School promotion Sunday with a special children’s program cuts your time down to about 29 hours.
     Are you going to take some vacation time?  If you are ultra conservative and only take two weeks off, there’s another two Sundays gone.  And if you attend any conferences or if you are called away as a guest speaker in another church, you could easily miss an additional two weeks each year.  By the way, a significant portion of your congregation will use your absence as an excuse to skip church (I’m just sayin’).  The faithful ones will be subjected to a missionary report or a topical treatise by a Jr. guest pulpit filler.  That’s six fewer hours each year.  But that’s okay.  You still have 23 hours for good, solid bible teaching.
     What do you do with Mothers’ Day, Fathers’ Day, Grand parent's Day, Children's Day, Labor Day, Halloween, Veterans’ Day, New Year’s Day, Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday, Valentine’s Day, Memorial Day, Patriot’s Day, the local high school graduation and the Fourth of July?  If you forfeit even half of your allotted time to do any kinds of special tributes or self-help how-to Christian psych sessions, you could easily lose another ten hours.  That leaves you about thirteen hours to really impact your flock with good, solid, in-depth bible exposition if you don’t get sick.
     Thirteen hours a year.  That’s a little over one hour a month or fifteen minutes per week.  But don’t worry.  If they leave spiritually malnourished, they can always supplement their fast food diet with a happy meal from Joel Osteen.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

My Bucket List

Saturday (March 1) was my birthday so first I want to say Thank You to all who wished me a happy day.
But this particular day was different from all the others.  When my pastor emailed a happy birthday greeting to me, I thanked him and then reminded him that “today begins my exit year.”  To which he inquired, “OK, what’s on your bucket list?
This birthday was #66; a unique day that I have been anticipating for about ten years.  This birthday marks the year that I have been predicting my death since 2004.  I am not going to elaborate on why or how in this column.  It is a whole column on its own and you can read all about it here.
Of course I say all this with tongue in cheek.  I don’t pretend to have any special gift of prophecy nor am I planning suicide.
 However, I do know that as good, and strong, and healthy, and capable as I felt ten years ago, at age 66, I see the evidence of rapid deterioration and I sense the imminent approach of death.  And I am not going bore you all with whiney complaints about my ailments, pains, disabilities, or weaknesses; there are plenty of other people around us all who love to do that.  So instead, I’ll just refer to this old song, written by Stuart Hamblin, that I heard often when I was a child.  I appreciate it much better now; all the things he mentioned in the song, I understand now by experience.

“This Old House” is a metaphor for the run-down body of an old man.  He was once a strong protector who now, can’t even get up to go hunting with his dog.  He’s weak and worn out.  His joints creak and ache and things just don’t work right anymore.  His senses are dim and his memory is fading.  But he is looking forward to the day he is translated into glory and God will provide him with a brand new, incorruptible “house.”

(Disclaimer - I'm not going to edit any part of these song lyrics.  If you think anything in this song is racist, please spare me from your inane comments.  Get a dictionary, get educated, and then get a life.)

This old house once knew my children
     This old house once knew my wife
This old house was home and shelter as we fought the storms of life
     This old house once rang with laughter
This old house heard many shouts
     Now she trembles in the darkness when the lightnin' walks about

This old house is getting shaky
     This old house is getting old
This old house lets in the rain and this old house lets in the cold
     On my knees I'm getting chilly
But I feel no fear or pain
     'Cause I see an angel peeking through a broken window pane

Now my old hound dog lies asleeping
     He don't know I'm gonna leave
Else he'd wake up by the fireplace and he'd sit there, howl and grieve
     But my hunting days are over
I aint gonna hunt the 'coon no more
     Gabriel done brought in chariot when the wind blew down the door

Ain't gonna need this house no longer
     Ain't gonna need this house no more
Ain't got time to fix the shingles
     Ain't got time to fix the floor
Ain't got time to oil the hinges
      Nor to mend the window pane
Ain't gonna need this house no longer
     I'm getting ready to meet the saints

I guess I kinda identify with this prayer of Moses, "... I am not able to bear all these people alone, because the burden is too heavy for me.   If You treat me like this, please kill me here and now—if I have found favor in Your sight—and do not let me see my wretchedness!”  Numbers 11:14-15

BUCKET LIST?  Are you kidding?  I don’t have no stinkin’ bucket list.  I have never thought about a making a bucket list.  But, since he brought it up, I have been thinking about some things I would like to do before I leave.

  • I think I would like to have a classic Harley Davidson motorcycle.
  • I would like to take an extended road trip across the country with no itinerary, no calendar, no clock, and no destination.
  • I’d like to leave The People’s Republik of Kalifornia and move to an independent, free country like Texas.

But then I realized that I will not be doing any of these things as long as my wife is alive.  And since she is “much” younger, stronger, healthier , and better looking than I, she will probably outlast me.  So I will just be content to kick an empty bucket.


Sunday, March 2, 2014

No More On Moore

In nearly ten years of blogging, I just did something I have never done before.  I deleted the content of a string of comments on one of my blog posts.

It has been my practice to post ALL comments, whether agreeable or not, in the interest of fairness.  Believe me, I am not bothered by negative comments.   BUT, in this case, there was entirely too much angry criticism (all from people who would not reveal their real identities) about one little crack made by a reader in a comment that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POINT OF MY POST.  In fact, several of the anonymous comments may have been from the same person.  Never-the-less they became unneccessary distractions from the content.

It has been five years since I posted the article about Beth Moore.  And, out of 750 posts, it has been the most read, outranking number two by nearly three times.  Obviously, Beth Moore is an extremely controversial subject.

My reason for the original post was made clear in the opening paragraph.  I was warned by my church leadership to keep quiet about any negative criticism regarding the errant teachings of Beth Moore.  So, since I don't respond well to threats, I posted the tongue-in-cheek, Defense Of Beth Moore in a manner that utilized absurdity to illustrate the absurd.  That was my one and only post about Mrs. Moore and I have remained silent for five years.

But she has not.  Recently I noticed another, sudden increase in interest in my blog post.  And no wonder - she's at it again.  In a recent conference she, once again, has announced new revelation that she has received straight from the mouth of God.  And this time, amid clever scripture twisting, she assures thousands of her followers that she is the real prophet and warns them that scoffers will arise to criticize her and God's new "outpouring."

For anyone finding their way onto my blog in search of information about Beth Moore's extra-biblical revelation and false prophecies, I would suggest the following links:


Sunday, January 19, 2014

Heretical Analogies Lead To Heretical Beliefs.

Years ago, a woman I knew thought she could successfully convince me regarding her perverted brand of  Christianity.  One day during a debate on the subject of spiritual gifts, I stated that it is the Holy Spirit who gifts each believer individually, severally, and uniquely for service, to which she responded with this analogy:  “The Holy Spirit is like a chocolate chip cookie.  When you bake cookies, you mix the flour, sugar, chocolate chips, eggs, salt, and etc. all together.  So when you eat your fill of the cookies, you have all the ingredients.  And when a believer is filled with the spirit, he has all of the ingredients (meaning spiritual gifts)”

Well, guess what? I have been filled many times, with chocolate chip cookies and I have never spoken in tongues. Why? Because, (pay close attention now) the Holy Spirit IS NOT A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE. 

The belief in heretical doctrines might result from the use of stupid analogies.

I don’t understand the doctrine of the Trinity,  I cannot comprehend a triune God nor can I explain Him.  But I do know that the use of stupid analogies always fails and are heretical.  God is NOT like an egg, water, a man, pie, a triangle, a three-leafed clover or Pla-doh.  Furthermore, there are lots of nominal Christians who reject the doctrine of the Trinity simply because the analogies don't make sense.  There are no analogies that can explain the Trinity and we have no right to try to invent such nonsense.  Just because we don’t understand the Trinity is no reason to disbelieve it. 

Deuteronomy 29:29 tells us, “The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever.” 
This is one of those secret things.  The tri-unity of God is a doctrine of special (biblical) revelation but He has NOT revealed how that can be.  Ours is just to take Him at His Word and believe it.  No analogy can explain the Trinity because there is nothing in all of creation like God.  He is holy; there is none like Him. 

“God Said It, I Believe It and That Settles It For Me,” was a song that was popularized in the 1970s.  At first glance, it sounds good but the obvious error in the song is the phrase, “I believe it.”  That seems to indicate that the veracity of the declared Word of God is dependent on my belief.  The better title would be, “God Said It and That Settles It Whether I Believe It Or Not.”   

So, regarding the doctrine of the Trinity (and all other doctrines of God as revealed in scripture), our belief is irrelevant. God’s Word is true even if no one believes it.  We are not privileged to complete understanding.  All we can know about Him is what He has revealed to us in His Word.  That’s it!  That settles it! That’s all! 

I believe in the doctrine of the Trinity because the Word of God clearly and undeniably declares that He is one God in three distinct, coexistent persons.  “He is that He is” regardless of our beliefs or finite understanding.  When our analogies are heretical, our beliefs are heretical and that will ultimately lead to unbiblical practices.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Why Did I Pick That Old Hymn?

Has God ever spoken to you?  Has He ever revealed any new truth to you? 

Last week the subject matter of my pastor’s sermon was the reformation principle of “Sola Scriptura” which has to do with the sufficiency of Scripture as our only and supreme authority in all spiritual matters. 

So one of the Hymns I selected for our congregational singing was “God Has Spoken By His Prophets.”  I love this great, old hymn because it is rich in biblical doctrine. 
Hebrews 1:1-2 says, “God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in times past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds."

That passage forms the outline and sets the theme for this hymn; “God has Spoken.”

Verse one starts with the declaration that God spoke His “unchanging Word,” in times past, through His prophets. 

Then, in verse two, the author takes us to “These last days.”  God’s revelation today is “By His Son,” who is far superior to and more excellent than all the ancient patriarchs and prophets.  He is the Living Word of God.

In verse three the writer tells us that God is still speaking today BUT then he quickly points us to the vehicle the Spirit of God uses, and that is “the ageless Word” of God.

Notice the recurring emphasis on the unchanging or ageless Word of God  in all three verses.  Everything God wants to reveal to us, in this world, about Him and our faith and practice in our relationship to Him has been revealed in His complete, unchanging Word.  It’s not that God can’t speak directly or reveal something different to us; it’s just that He doesn’t   In that divinely inspired Hebrews passage we are told that God has spoken. Furthermore, in Revelation, we are warned that we are not to add anything to or take anything from God’s Word because He is unchanging and His Word is established forever.  There is no new revelation.  And that provides us certainty and security.  We need not wonder about those who claim to have new revelation from God - they don't.  Nor do we need to wonder about any new message we may think we got from God - we didn't.  If our new revelation disagrees with scripture, we don't need it.  And if it does agree with scripture, we still don't need it.
Do you want something new from God?  Ask Him for it and then open His Book and listen to His "unchanging" written Word.  

 God Has Spoken By His Prophets
1.      God has spoken by His prophets,
Spoken His unchanging Word.
            Each from age to age proclaiming
     God, the One, the righteous Lord.
            In the world’s despair and turmoil
     One firm anchor hold us fast.
            God is King, His throne eternal,
     God the First and God the Last.

2.      God has spoken by Christ Jesus. 
Christ the everlasting Son.
      Brightness of the Father’s glory,
With the Father ever one.
            Spoken by the Word incarnate,
     God of God ere time was born.
             Light of Light, to earth descending,
     Christ as God in human form.

3.      God is speaking by His Spirit,
 Speaking to our hearts again;
      In the ageless Word expounding
God’s own message, now as then.
            Through the rise and fall of nations
     One sure faith yet standing fast;
            God abides, His Word unchanging,
     God the First and God the Last.

Friday, December 20, 2013

I Want To Wish All My Christian Friends A Happy Holiday!

Once again, as happens in every year, Christians are engaged in a nonsensical culture war over the way people greet each other around this season.  We insist that people should “keep Christ in Christmas.”  But why should they?  Most of the world doesn’t keep Christ in their everyday lives.  They don’t even know Him.  In fact God’s Word tells us that they hate Him. Why would we even want them to feign honor or even pretend to acknowledge Him on Christmas Day?  Besides, God would not be honored by their phony lip service anyway. 

 And to what end do we keep beating that drum?  Is it for the purpose of our "witness?”  Do we really think that people might get saved if they would just recognize that “Jesus is the reason for the season?”   That doesn’t work.  That is not evangelism.  It’s not about a baby in a manger surrounded by shepherds, wise men, and the little drummer boy.  True, biblical evangelism must go beyond the manger where “Mary had a little Lamb.”  Legitimate evangelism must point to the second line of the nursery rhyme – “It’s fleece was white as snow.”  That’s the reason He came.  That’s the gospel that has the power to change lives.  The birth of Jesus is powerless and irrelevant without a perfect, spotless sacrifice. It was His sinless life and His sacrificial death on the cross that paid the penalty for our sin. 

 We get our feathers all ruffled when someone wishes us a “happy holiday.”  We even tend to get a little testier when someone writes the dirty little four letter word, “Xmas.” 

 My pastor recently cautioned us to be careful of words we use, especially around this season, because “words mean things.”  The question he asked is, “Do you know what ‘Merry Christmas’ means?”  Or more importantly, “Do you even care?”

 So what does Merry Christmas really mean?  The word “Christmas” is literally the Christ Mass or the annual Roman Catholic celebration of the death of Christ.  In it, participants partake of two elements (bread and wine) which they believe turns into the literal flesh and blood of Jesus.  Parenthetically, Catholics believe that every time they partake of the elements, they are “receiving Christ” but I digress.

 Biblical communion observations are periodic reminders that Jesus gave Himself for a sacrifice and shed His blood for the remission of our sin.  In contrast, the Christ Mass is a celebration of the death of Jesus where His body is sacrificed and His blood is shed anew each year.  And, as my pastor so clearly noted, there was nothing” merry” about Christ’s sacrifice.  In fact it was brutal, awful, horrific, and sad (Isaiah 53).   Furthermore, it is not perpetual.  It was “once for all” and never to be repeated (Hebrews 10:11-14).

What about that substitute word, “Xmas?”   The symbol X is the Greek letter “chi” and has been used by Christians, throughout church history, for the word “Christ,”  In fact, the symbol of the fish was adopted by the early church to identify Christians because they used the Greek word for fish as an acronym for “Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior.”   The symbol X in that acronym, represented the word, “Christ.”   So, as I have said before, any Christians who object to the use of X in Xmas, should remove all the fish symbols from their bumpers and business cards just to avoid hypocrisy

 Do you resent when people wish you “Happy Holidays?”   The word holiday is contracted from the words “holy day” and the biblical meaning of “holy” is akin to the word, “sanctified,” which means to separate from the profane or set apart for a special use.  Certainly most thinking Christians would agree that we “set apart” a day to observe the birth of the Savior and treat it as special or holy.  And it really is a happy time for Christians to enjoy the fellowship of family, friends, and believers as we remember the birth of our Savior.  So I can’t imagine why anyone would object to the use of the phrase, “Happy Holiday.”  In fact, given all the options, Happy Holiday might just be the most accurate and appropriate phrase for Christians. 

So, for my Christian friends, I want to take this opportunity to wish you all a HAPPY HOLIDAY.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Al Mohler Is Wrong About Phil Robertson Of Duck Dynasty

I have a great deal of respect for Mr. Mohler.  However, on this critique of Mr. Robertson’s GQ interview, I disagree.

“Robertson ... offered some comments that were rather crude and graphically anatomical in making the ... point.”  (Mohler)

Phil Robertson would have served the cause of Christ more faithfully if some of those comments had not rushed out. This is not because what he said was wrong; he was making the argument that homosexual acts are against nature. The Apostle Paul makes the very same argument in Romans 1:26. The problem is the graphic nature of Robertson’s language and the context of his statements.” (Mohler)
Robertson’s choice of words were neither crude nor inappropriate.  In fact they were surprisingly anatomically correct.  I’m sure there were lots of other colorful and downright crude words that he could have used instead of “vagina,” or “anus.”  Words he probably used many times in his early, wild days - words that might have been much more familiar to the interviewer.  But God changed Phil.  He is  a genuinely godly family man and I doubt that he talks like that anymore.

As for the “context” this was an interview for GQ Magazine; a publication targeted specifically to the metro-sexual community and known for its provocative, sexually oriented, and sometimes soft porn content.  It is highly unlikely that he even had time to “word-craft” a politically correct response nor should he.  The “cause of Christ is well-served when we are direct and strong in the face of sin.  Similarly, Jesus used strong language like when he called people “hypocrites,” “white-washed tombs,” and “serpents.”   GQ asked questions; Phil answered with honesty and transparency.  And he did it in a way that distinguished his personal thoughts from God’s Word.  In other words, his answers followed the format of, “this is what I think but here is what God says.”  In so doing, he upheld the honor of God to a sinful world.

From what I read though, it seems that very few of Phil’s critics have a problem with his preference for a woman over a man. And Phil’s words were not offensive regardless of what they claim. Their problem is that they hate Phil, not for what he says, but for what he believes and they don't want him (or anyone else) to articulate his beliefs.  But more importantly, they hate God.

“The Apostle Paul made the same arguments, but worshipers in the congregations of Rome and Corinth did not have to put hands over the ears of their children when Paul’s letter was read to their church.”  (Mohler)

The Apostle Paul was NOT answering questions for a GQ interview.  He was writing letters to the church which is those whom God has redeemed.  The context is different.  Furthermore, his words were guided by divine inspiration; they were the exact Words that God gave to communicate to His people.  And sometimes those Words were necessarily, very strong rebukes because “whom He loves, He chastens.”

 Incidentally, in our world today, it is unlikely that anyone would need to” put their hands over the ears of their children.”  Any children who have unsupervised access to television, movies, or even attends public schools have already learned the words “vagina” and “anus” as well as ALL the other vulgar substitutions.

In his commentary, Al Mohler warns that Christians should think long and hard about the publicity that comes from these kinds of interviews with the world because they can be devastating.  But we Christians are called by God to be His ambassadors and oracles of His Truth regardless of how the world feels.  And for our obedience, He does not promise us popularity, agreement, or ease.  In fact, to the contrary, His promises are certain:

 “…all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.”  2 Timothy 3:12

 “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you.”  John 15:18

Phil Robertson demonstrated more dedication, obedience, and courage than most Christians I know.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Fifteen Bucks Is NOT A Living Wage; Why Not Strike For Fifty?

I am not a big business executive so I probably don’t know much.  But I have been an employer for nearly 45 years and I do know that staging an organized strike is NOT a smart way to increase your pay nor is it an effective way to improve your life.  At one time, I employed about 78 people in a low-skilled, low wage, non-profit, service industry.  So when it comes to the effects of a minimum wage hike, I know from personal experience, that employees are hurt by them much more than business owners.

Several years ago, when the Federal government and the State of California both piled on simultaneous, scheduled minimum wage adjustments, before my employees became aware, I jumped the gun and gave everyone a raise equivalent to the coming mandated adjustment.  That way I was perceived to be the caring, benevolent one rather than the government.

Then I immediately sat down to determine how my company was going to pay for the added expenses.  We would need to pass on the increased costs to our clients or decrease our expenditures by cutting operational costs.  I chose to do the latter.  I conducted formal evaluations of each of my employees, I analyzed their work schedules, and I planned internal adjustments to maximize productivity and minimize hours.  When I was certain that I could cut 20% of my staffing time and still do all the work, I began a systematic process to reduce my staff.  Yeah, that’s right.  I fired the non-productive and non-essential personnel (NEP).  After all, a marginally productive employee who may be tolerable at $6.00 is certainly NOT worth 7, 8,or even $15.  I may have been born at night but it wasn’t LAST night.

By the time the increases became effective, I was able to absorb the additional costs and still realize a stronger bottom line.  I would imagine that most businesses must have done similarly.

But the real negative affect impacted much more than just those few people who were laid off.  Initially, all the employees were excited about their “newly acquired wealth” but then they found themselves much worse off in just a few short months. 

Here’s how - Even before any of them were laid off, when they first became aware that their benevolent, white-haired and bearded uncle in a funny red, white, and blue suit was giving them a raise, they immediately started making plans for how they would spend the extra buck an hour.  By their calculations, that dollar meant an extra $160-180 per month in disposable income.

And that’s when they got stupid.  They went shopping and most of them obligated themselves for additional interest bearing payments for a plethora of unnecessary items they really couldn’t afford.  Some even bought cars; most of them just thought they could add frivolous consumable items to their high-interest credit card debt because now they could afford to pay higher minimum monthly payments. And they didn’t stop to think that their gross increase would be subject to income taxes and other deductions.  Even some of those who were terminated spent it before they even got their pink slips. Surprise, SURPRISE!  I think I recall something about counting chickens.

But the biggest problem for them is the proverbial “high tide that raises all boats.”  For a short time, all minimum wage earners think they are ahead but the reality is that, whenever the government rolls out a minimum wage increase, ALL other wages and salaries are soon proportionately increased.  And the economic reality of mandated wage increases is that ALL costs of goods and services must be increased to pay for the additional costs to businesses.  Within a very short time, minimum wage earners begin to realize that their own out-of-pocket costs for groceries and other essential goods and services cancel out (and in some cases exceed) the value of their wage increases.  To put it simply, their paychecks don’t quite go as far as they once did.  By the time reality hits them between the eyeballs, their monthly obligations for the stuff they bought buries them in new debt. 

The moral of the story for any unskilled, entry-level, minimum wage earner who might be able to actually read this and think about it is this – If you want a meaningful raise, EARN it.  Show up on time, dressed appropriately, and ready to work. Do what you’re told.  Show your boss some respect.  Demonstrate that you are willing and dependable.  Learn your job well.  Acquire new skills.  Believe me, you will become an asset worthy of your hire (That’s not an insulting word.  It means something of value.).   

Once you have established legitimate grounds, ask to speak to your boss in private and respectfully ASK him for a raise.  If he gives it to you, thank him and then KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT.  The rest of your idiot compatriots don’t need to know about it.  If he doesn’t give it to you, you still have some options- be thankful for it and continue to do a good job OR resign and go find a better one.  That is the Christian way to do it.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

My First Letter To Governor Brown; How To Fix Public Restrooms For The Gender Confused

Governor Jerry Brown
c/o State Capitol, Suite 1173
Sacramento, CA 95814

Dear Governor Moonbeam

I knew it; I just knew it.  All that pot you smoked back in the sixties must have really scrambled your brain.  Signing AB1266 was the dumbest one of the dumbest things you have ever done.  What were you thinking?  Just because the circus freak show in Sacramento, otherwise known as the California legislature sends queer, whacked out, drug inspired bills to your desk is no reason for you to check your brains at the door when you go to work in the morning.  You are supposed to be the Governor, for cryin’ out loud.  You're supposed to have more sense.

Anyway, all this gender confusion crap about which restroom to use seems, to me, easy enough to fix.  The problem is with lame new definitions of old words (no doubt a result of too many people wasting too much time under the tutelage of the public education system). 

Enough of all the LGBTTIQQ2SA PC happycrap.  Here is my simple solution:

Do not use the words, “MEN” and “WOMEN.”   Those used to be good words.  We used to know what they meant.  Not so much anymore.  Today they are defined by how a person “feels” or wants to be instead of what he is (and I use that gender word generically the way we were taught back when school was the place where children were taught how to read and write and count and think, but I digress).  No person can possibly be confused about the actual physical characteristics of his anatomy.   Girls have innies and boys have outies, if you catch my drift.   It’s the same method doctors used, pre-ultra sound, when they proclaim one’s gender on the delivery table.  As soon as the baby’s body became visible, everyone knew what it was.  In fact that is the same info that is recorded on every person’s birth certificate.  If you doubt that, please look for yourself; nowhere on that certificate does it say, “to be determined in six to ten years when the child can decide for himself.”

So that should end the confusion and stop the insanity.   Restroom signs should be designated MALE and FEMALE.  For those who can’t read, we could have symbols.  Not the normal symbols illustrating figures with pants and skirts.  Those are too confusing.  Anyone who wants to wear a skirt might think he can use a female restroom.  Instead, the symbols might depict, male and female electrical connections, for example.  Everyone knows what that means because, after all, girls have “innies” and boys have “outies.”

When I was a kid I visited my cousin in Scotland, SD.  A sign on the restroom in the city park said “The Dog House.”  There were two doors; one for “pointers” and one for “setters.”  There was no confusion, even then, for us unsophisticated nine-year-old kids.  We all knew which door to use.

Basically it comes down to this; if you don’t know what you are, stand in front of the restroom mirror, pull your pants down, and take a close look.   If you see something that none of the others in the restroom have, get out and stay out.  You’re in the WRONG PLACE because, you know, girls have “innies” and boys have “outies.”

I hope you have found these suggestions helpful and I am happy to be of service.

Respectfully your,

Ralph M. Petersen
(mail posted 11-12-13)

"So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them."  Gen. 1:27  

Enough said!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Is Alice Cooper A Christian?

Here is my analysis of this interview on the Harvest Show

The Interviewer asks Alice,  “Tell us how you came to the faith.”

This is where I get interested.  Alice replies by saying,  “I am the prodigal son. “  He goes on with his credentials.  His Father was a pastor.  His grandfather was an evangelist.  Heck, his father-in-law was even a BAPTIST pastor.    He grew up in the church.  All his friends were in the church.  He was there every Sunday, every Wednesday night, and every Friday night.  His entire social life was in the church.

So, by this time, I am still hoping to hear him answer the question.  After all, spending a lot of time in church doesn’t make one a Christian any more than spending time in a donut shop makes one a cop. 

He continues by stating that all of his songs have Christian bywords (his term) in them.  They have warnings about Satan.  The interviewer tries to lead him, “That is kind of the core message in your music, isn’t it?”

Okay, good.  Maybe I will hear something in the messages of his songs that might reveal his beliefs.

Alice Cooper responds,  “It always has been.”   He then expands his comments by asserting that all of his music had a common theme (even when he wasn’t a Christian).   That common theme was, apparently, the antagonism between good and evil or “God and the devil.”  To which he urges, “Don’t pick the devil.”

The interviewer again tries to steer him back on point.   “We’ve all heard of the gospel according to Matt, Mk, Luke, and John.  What is the gospel according to Alice?

That is the right question.  That is what I still want to hear.  

Alice Cooper responds with an anecdote about how he believes in God because he believes the bible.  From there He wanders by observing that God has put him in the camp of the philistines (his metaphor for the ungodly world) and he has to live his life in front of them.   “I try to live my faith every day; that’s my testimony.” 

Good, Here is the part where I am hoping to hear his testimony.   But it never happens.  He talks a lot about the dangers of failing to live up to his faith but he never says what his faith is.  He never mentions anything about sin, repentance, salvation, or anything about Jesus’ atoning death on the cross for his sin.  In fact, throughout the entire course of this interview, he never once mentions the name, Jesus.

The interview then gives up and turns the subject to a joint ministry, The Solid Rock Foundation, which Alice started with his pastor friend, Chuck Savelle.  His stated ministry purpose is to give underprivileged and at risk kids a place to go and opportunities to hang out and play in a safe environment under the oversight of Christian businessmen with no apparent, legitimate gospel purpose.  “Give the kids a safe place to go and a creative outlet.  That is the best way for them to see who we are.”

At the end of the interview I still don’t know who he is.  Is Alice Cooper is a Christian.  I believe he is a sincere and honorable man who tries to live a good life and do a lot of social good.  But in this interview, he failed to articulate any convincing understanding of the Gospel, Jesus Christ, or salvation.  In fact, the whole of his interview suggests a good works-based faith wrapped in the hope that he can ride through heavens gate on the coattails of his forefathers.

Actually Mitt Romney, Glenn Beck, and Barack Obama have articulated much more convincing testimonies.  Each of them have clearly stated that Jesus Christ is their Lord and savior yet no Christians I know believe that to be true.  There may be other statements made by Alice in other interviews, but in my opinion, the conclusions propagated in this interview call for some cautious spiritual discernment.    I would be anxious to hear some further clarification from Alice Cooper.   

"Let the redeemed of the Lord SAY SO!”  Psalm 107:2

Thursday, October 17, 2013

God Doesn't Like Me

There is so much heretical happy-crap in this HuffPo interview with the master heretical happy-crapper himself, Joel Olsteen, that makes me weary just thinking about it.  Nevertheless, in the context of his drivel about how God loves and accepts those who practice homosexuality because He made them that way, this one short little statement particularly captured my attention:


“It doesn’t matter who likes you or doesn’t like you; all that matters is that God likes you. He accepts you; He approves of you,”  Joel Osteen  

I am quite certain that God doesn’t like me, period.   I know a few people whom I think might like me but if they really knew me like I know me, they wouldn't like me at all.  I think I know myself well enough to know that there is nothing about me that God could like.  In fact, if I thought for a moment, that God really likes me, accepts me, and approves of me, I would think that He either doesn’t know me at all or that He is easily deceived and not a good very wise discerner of character.   


I would say that because God is wise and knows all, the He does NOT like me.  It is true that God loves me and that has been demonstrated by His grace in the fact that He sent His Son to suffer, and bleed, and die for the penalty of ALL my sin against Him (including sexual sin) thereby satisfying His righteous justice.  That is called mercy.


Sure, I am accepted.  But that acceptance is followed by the prepositional phrase, “in the Beloved.”  The basis for His acceptance of me is that I am in Christ and He is in me.  That is the only way the Holy and Righteous God of creation can even stand the sight of me.  Jesus Christ is my righteousness; He is my covering.  If you take away the covering, I am a just another dirty, rotten, putrid, low-life scumbag capable of murder, thievery, homosexuality or any other kind of evil or perversion and worthy of His terrible and righteous wrath.


But when God saves a repentant sinner, He cleans him up, turns him around, changes his behavior, and begins the process of making him fit to live with Him forever.  Furthermore, should any of us, who are saved, ever think too highly of ourselves, we have constant, eternal reminder that Jesus Christ redeemed us with His own blood.     
This is one of several great hymns I love.  The author, Norman Clayton, very clearly steers us away from the self-esteem heresy of Joel Osteen and points us to the truth that...

My hope is in the Lord Who gave Himself for me,
      And paid the price of all my sin at Calvary.

No merit of my own His anger to suppress.
      My only hope is found in Jesus’ righteousness.

And now for me He stands Before the Father’s throne.
      He shows His wounded hands and names me as His own.

His grace has planned it all, ‘Tis mine but to believe,
     And recognize His work of love and Christ receive.

For me He died, For me He lives,
And everlasting life and light He freely gives.