Friday, November 30, 2007

The Worthlessness of Self-Esteem

“You can tell a lot about an educational system by its vocabulary. When Calvinistic terms like grace and works are replaced by educantisms like self-esteem, you know the system’s in trouble. Or is even to think on grace and works now considered a violation of the separation of church and state? The mere mention of a religious idea in public has been known to make some of our more advanced thinkers break out in hives and litigation.
As for those of us inclined to sneak a biblical allusion into our prose now and then, we need not fear; our ‘educated’ classes may no longer recognize it. The theory behind the Cult of Self-Esteem is simple: First get the cart, then put it before the horse. Just feel good about yourself and achievement will follow automatically. It would be too much to call this approach instant gratification; it’s really more like pre-gratification... Want to build real self-esteem, the kind that is the fruit of self-respect and not just an inadequate substitute for it? Expect, even insist on, competence. Don’t pretend it’s there when it isn’t.
If that sounds too hard, that’s the catch with self-respect—it has to be earned. Self-esteem, on the other hand, costs little or nothing. And it’s worth just what you pay for it.”
Paul Greenburg

Self Defense


"Although I am ready to defend what I have said, many people expect me to defend what others have attributed to me."

Thomas Sowell

This Is A Rhinoceros




Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Virgin Forests


Is a virgin forest a forest that has never had sex?


Just wondered.

Commenting Rules

You are welcome to comment on any of my blog posts. However, your comments are subject to my rules.

  1. Please try to discern the difference between the serious and the sarcastic or satirical. For example, if a post is satire, you should not comment as if you think it is serious. I repeat, do not, Not, NOT do that. If you do, I may allow your comments to be posted for the whole world to see and you might be embarrassed.
  2. Keep it clean. This is my blog and I reserve the right to censor filthy language. Your own sarcasm and slightly irreverent edginess back at me is O.K. Political incorrectness is even better. But if you are vulgar or threatening, you will be deleted and your comment will spend eternity in computer purgatory.  Also, I have been getting quite a few comments written in foreign languages that I cannot read.  If I can't read it, I will delete it. 
  3. Do not send any comments containing links to sites that contain profanity, pornography or blasphemy.
  4. You are entitled to opinions (no matter how inane I think they may be) that disagree with mine. Go ahead and submit them. I can handle honest debate and disagreements.
  5. I will post anonymous comments but preferably you will have a name. If, however, you are ashamed of your point of view because you know it lacks strength, substance or rationale, I will understand if you use a pseudonym (that means a phoney name) but just remember this - God knows who you are.

Understanding Liberals

“Words are always bad for liberals.

Words allow people to understand what liberals are saying.”


Ann Coulter

Tough Love And Just Consequenses

"Loving your neighbor" doesn't involve protecting him against the just consequences of his own mistakes, or giving him special dispensation if he's unlucky, or punishing the productive in the name of helping the less fortunate.

A just and loving society, in other words, doesn't enshrine victimhood and doesn't see a contradiction between justice and compassion.

Michael Medved

(From "Biblical Liberation From Liberalism." See this quotation in its entire context posted here


Sunday, November 25, 2007

Bumper Sticker Christian Hypocricy

One of my favorite cartoon strips illustrates a young man standing at the pearly gates trying to convince St. Peter that he is worthy to enter into Heaven. It is obvious, from Peter’s firm stance and folded arms, that he is not going to open the gate. The young man is pleading his case with Peter and pointing back at his parked car which has several bumper stickers plastered all over it with phrases like “honk if you love Jesus,” “not of this world,” Jesus Freak,” “Jesus saves,” and “God is my co-pilot.” Finally, St. Peter relents and says, “OK, so your CAR can come in.”

I like to read bumper stickers and window decals. In fact I use them on my car. One of them that I created a few years ago in the midst of the "name it and claim it" fad said, “Santa Clause is NOT the first person of the trinity.”

You can learn a lot about people by the stuff they put on their car windows and bumpers. Sometimes, though, the cumulative mixed messages are puzzling. Not long ago I saw two window decal depictions of that popular, bratty little cartoon character named “Calvin” on the same car. In one, he was urinating on something and on the other, he was kneeling in prayer at the foot of the cross. That is what you call a conundrum; it is a seeming contradiction. We don’t know how to reconcile those two conflicting attitudes.

Lots of people don't integrate their lives as a whole. They compartmentalize their attitudes and beliefs and make no attempt to connect their inconsistent actions. So, when it comes to God and his Word, they can easily slip into their religious compartment on Sundays and their secular compartment on the other days of the week and there is no apparent consistency between the two.

Christians should act like Christians. Our words and deeds should be consistent with what we profess. Sir Thomas Fuller wrote, “He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.”

“…get rid of all malicious behavior and deceit. Don’t just pretend to be good! Be done with hypocrisy…” 1Peter 2:1

The Unexpected

If we are supposed to expect the unexpected,

then wouldn't that make
the unexpected expected?


Just wondered.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Rhino Has A Turned-Up Nose

The rhino has a turned-up nose,
He has thick legs and funny toes,
He has a most peculiar face
And both his eyes are out of place.
He has loose hide and perky ears,
And now the rhino is in tears.
He says, "It gives me such a pain
When saucy people call me plain."
Author Unknown

Monday, November 19, 2007

New Ideas

"Always remember, when somebody comes up with something new, it's usually wrong. We are to be plagiarists of the same information that God gave the first Christians."
Dr. Matthew McMahon, aPuritansMind.com

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Contemporary Christianity Has No Power

"Talk of hell, damnation and even sin has been replaced by a nonjudgmental language of understanding and empathy."


Alan Wolfe

Sociologist, self-described nonbeliever and author of the book, "The Transformation of American Religion: How We Actually Live Our Faith"

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Oil Spill

Seems like everyone is so worked up over 4,000 dead birds.

What about the 58,000 gallons of lost oil? Does anyone else care or is it just me?

Just wondered.

Global Warming-The Debate Is Over

You need to pay real close attention to the declaration of truth that I am about to make; you do not want to miss this. Here it is: “THE WORLD IS ROUND!” You must believe me when I tell you this. I cannot emphasize and support this statement enough; THE WORLD IS ROUND.

So you might be asking yourself, “Why is this guy acting like he has some brand new truth?” Of course the world is round. Everyone knows it's round, there is no debate. That is a scientific fact.

And that is my point. The fact that everyone knows it; the fact that the debate is over; the fact that science declares it does NOT make it true. What makes it true is the TRUTH, not what science declares because science can be wrong. The Bible prophet, Isaiah, affirmed that the world was round as early as 700 B.C. Galileo knew it too but he was incarcerated in prison over four hundred years ago because he insisted on that fact in direct opposition to pop-scientific dogma of the day. Scientists then were wrong.

Do you know how many stars there are in the universe? Brilliant seventeenth century scientists such as Hipparchus, Ptolemy and Keplar all confirmed the number to be about 1000. According to them, the debate was over. Had they consulted the Bible, they could have saved the whole scientific community a lot of embarrassment. Hundreds and thousands of years earlier, men like Job, Jeremiah, Isaiah and the Apostle Paul all knew the universe to be immeasurable. Scientists then were wrong.

Because contemporary scientific theories often contradict scripture, many people struggle to reconcile biblical faith with science. Is the Genesis account of the creation of Adam and Eve true? Science says NO. But then sometimes, as in the examples above, science is wrong. You might recall the media coverage about ten years ago where genetic researchers concluded that all modern humans had to have descended from a single woman. They affectionately (or maybe sarcastically) referred to her as “Eve.” More recently, scientists surprised themselves once again. Two reports in Nature magazine claimed that all modern men share genes that derive from one single male ancestor. They have dubbed him “Y-chromosome Adam.”

Those recent genetic discoveries are troublesome to secularists who have insisted for years that humans have emerged independently, in different places, across different continents. But for people of faith, these findings only confirm the biblical account. There really was a first man and woman, not because science now admits it, but because it is the truth. Moses recorded that fact thousands of years ago and he tells us that God created them. Scientists were wrong.

Now we have this brand new life-threatening, crisis of world-wide economic and social and political proportions. Human caused GLOBAL WARMING has been accepted as fact by the majority of the lefty lunatics, secularists, liberals, and godless scientists. And they have convinced the mindless masses to all bow down to the guru of impending doom, the Green Messiah, Algore, (NOT a scientist) who has declared, “The debate is over.”

Ron Livesay, a friend of mine wrote the following in response to an article titled, “A Climate of Change,” that appeared in the Fall 2007 issue of National Parks:


The debate is over - Scientists know everything. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - Scientists are unbiased. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - The earth is flat. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - The sun revolves around the earth. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - Heavy objects fall faster than light objects. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - When someone is very sick, bleed the patient to get rid of the bad blood. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - An unborn baby is not human. It is only a tissue mass. It only becomes human after it is fully born, breathes, and proves itself to be viable. It is all right to kill it any time prior to viability, since it is not human, and killing it is much like killing a fish or a frog. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - Global cooling is a reality. It must be true. A scientist said so in 1973.
The debate is over - People are causing global cooling by using fossil fuels (1973). It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - Global warming is a reality. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - People are causing global warming by using fossil fuels. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - Evolution is true. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - God does not exist. It must be true. A scientist said so.
The debate is over - People who say "the debate is over" usually end up with egg on their faces.(This one is true. No scientist said so).
Ron Livesay

I am not antagonistic to real, honest science. However, I do have a problem with pseudo-scientific or religious theories derived from false presuppositions that are presented as undeniable truth in the face of reasonable doubt or in contradiction to THE TRUTH of the Word of God.

The question, “What is truth” has troubled students and philosophers throughout history but the answer is really quite simple; Truth is that which is true regardless of what scientists or philosophers say. The more important question is, “Does God exist?” If He does, it would seem reasonable to conclude that His Word is also true. Whenever science and the Bible conflict, science is wrong.

There are many examples of Biblical truth that have been validated by science. However, science has NEVER disproved the Bible. God’s Word is true. A friend of mine often says, “All truth is God’s truth.” It is comforting to know that, as Christians, we do not need to check our brains at the door when we enter the arena of faith.

“The word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.” Psalm 33:4

For more information on the other side
of the global warming debate check out this website:






And for a short, informative video featuring
John Stossel, click on this shortcut:


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Christian Values in Education


"All things being equal, I would prefer to have a child in a school where there's a strong appreciation for values, the kind of values that I think are associated with the Christian communities."


Rod Paige, former Education Secretary

The Watchmaker

Kids 4 Truth - The Watchmaker

Monday, November 12, 2007

The Seeker Sensitive, Purpose Driven Worship Wars

If you are a proponent of the Seeker Sensitive, Purpose Driven models of church growth, I believe that you are well-intentioned and have a sincere, evangelistic desire to be more relevant, attractive and acceptable to contemporary cultures and the unchurched communities around you. For that reason, many of your church leaders are tempted to affect radical changes in your traditional worship services and programs. Everything about church is carefully planned to reach certain demographic markets. Therefore you might find your church's "ministries" list reading like a menu; something for everyone. Bowling ministries, Superbowl ministries, Starbucks coffee shop ministries, skate park ministries, and a plethora of other attractions are planned to reach the customers in hopes that, if they like us, they might join us.

Does it work? Of course it does if your purpose is to increase attendance. That's good marketing but the wrong question. The right questions are; who is the Church? Whose is the Church? And who is the object of our worship?

In the marketing plans of the Church Growth movement, the consumer is the object. Somehow, we reason, if we can get them in and keep them in, they might like us and stay around long enough to "get saved."

Two things happened recently that should cause you (if you are honest with yourselves) to take an honest, critical look at what you are doing.

First - In June of 2006, Pastor Chuck Smith, Calvary Chapel founder and senior pastor, rejected the emerging church movement and asked that all of those CC pastors who were moving in that direction cease calling themselves Calvary Chapel churches. In a subsequent action in recent days, a notice was placed in the Calvary Chapel Distribution Website stating: "The teaching and positions of Rick Warren have come into conflict with us at Calvary Chapel. Pastor Chuck has directed us to discontinue this product effective immediately."
Both Purpose Driven and the emerging church promote contemplative spirituality, which is a belief system that is contrary to biblical Christianity.

Second – As a result of a multi-year study on the effectiveness of their philosophy of ministry, Willow Creek’s leadership has determined that most of what they have been doing for many years and what they have taught millions of others to do is not producing solid disciples of Jesus Christ. The experts admit being wrong.

If you want to attract a crowd, the "seeker-sensitive" model produces results. If you want solid, sincere, mature followers of Christ, this is a loser. In a shocking confession, Bill Hybels states: "We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of faith and became Christians, we should have started telling people and teaching people that they have to take responsibility to become 'self feeders.' We should have gotten people, taught people, how to read their Bible between services, how to do the spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own."

The original copy of this story, FIRST-PERSON: A shocking confession from Willow Creek Community Church leaders, by Bob Burney can be found at http://www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?ID=26768

Trouble With Liberals


"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."


Ronald Reagan

Rhino The Rhinoceros

Rhino was a Rhinoceros.
He was so preposterous.
Because of his size and his beady eyes,
He was despised.

He was not graceful.
He was thought to be hateful
When he would come around,
He would knock the animals down.

The animals said he was rude and crude,
And that he was a very mean dude.
This caused poor Rhino to feel sad.
He was not at all bad.

The animals weren’t very chummy.
They did not know he was half-blind
and therefore clumsy.

Then one day a lion came their way.
He was after his favorite prey.
All the animals were in great fear.
The lion began running towards a young deer.

Rhino kept blowing his horn with a blast,
As he came charging very fast.
The lion was so frighten that he fell.
How far he tumbled, it is hard to tell.

The lion got up and ran far, far away.
Rhino saved the life of a doe that day.
The animals no longer snubbed Rhino.
For he was now their hero.

By Ed G. Rhea

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Dr. Leo Alexander was a consultant to the Secretary of War in the Nuremberg Trials who had unusual access to many Nazi war criminals in the medical community. In 1949, He wrote in the New England Journal of Medicine that, what they originally intended to be compassionate acts of mercy actually set the stage for the Holocaust. He said that, whatever proportions their crimes finally assumed, they started from small beginnings.

First, there was a subtle shift in the basic attitudes of the physicians. They started by reasoning that there is such a thing as life not worthy to be lived and, initially, their concerns were only to end the lives of the severely and chronically sick. They soon became comfortable with their rationalizations and gradually the sphere widened to include those who were socially unproductive. Before long, people of different ideologies and races were murdered and, finally, they justified their agenda to exterminate all non-Germans.

Either we are uniquely created and specially sanctified by God OR we are merely the results of random biological processes with no particular foreordained purpose.

What does God’s Word have to say about the SANCTITY OF HUMAN LIFE?
In Genesis 1:26, God said, "Let us make man in our image." Genesis 2:7 tells us, “the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”

When creating animal life, God simply spoke them into existence. But the creation of man was special. God personally molded Adam and made him in His own image with the abilities to feel emotions, to make moral choices, and with the capacity for spiritual discernment.

There is another distinct difference between man and animals in that man received his life through a deliberate act of God’s inbreathing. We are created spiritual beings.
In Psalm 139, David wrote, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Because of His personal role in creation, God is the owner of our innermost parts and passions. He rules and occupies the most secret and vital part of our inner beings. Before we are even aware of Him, or anything else, God cares for us and hides us away as a precious treasure until He sees fit to bring us to the light. Before he was born, David was under the control and guardianship of God.

At the time of conception, when we are yet unknown to humans, God is at work forming us and is intimately acquainted with us. And before He even begins to put all the parts together, every essential material of our being is clearly in view of God. “The word of the Lord came to (the prophet, Jeremiah), saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart. I appointed you as a prophet to the nations’” (Jer. 1:4-5)

We know that God “formed” Adam but in David’s Psalm and here in Jeremiah’s prophecy we learn that God personally forms every person. This Biblical view of humanity should form the basis of every Christian’s attitudes regarding the sanctity of life.

God’s knowledge of us is not just an intellectual or casual awareness but is an intimate relationship. In His divine foreknowledge He specifically sets each one apart for His own special purpose and for His glory.

The Apostle Paul assures Christians that “…God chose us in Christ before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will—to the praise of His glorious grace. “ (Eph.1: 4-6)

Part of our uniqueness is the fact that God has created us with the ability to recognize Him and the capacity to know Him. This is part of God’s general revelation to all men.

In Psalm 139:14, David recognized that he was “…woven together.” Imagine an artistic weaver skillfully knitting and embroidering every thread of us together into the delicate tapestry of the human fabric. And He sees the completed picture even before it is started.

This whole process is by deliberate and specific design. Just as an architect draws out his plans, God carefully detailed every specification of our being. He knows our personalities, our gifts, our weaknesses, our infirmities and our potential long before we ever existed.

David ‘s reaction was to praise God. When we consider the skill and kindness that God employed in creating us, praise ought to be our natural response. David expressed his admiration of the fine workmanship and his reverence for the skill of the Worker in the phrase, “I will praise you; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are your works.”

Friday, November 9, 2007

Do We Really Believe The Bible?

Do We Really Believe The Bible?
by Ron Livesay

We as fundamentalist Christians and as Baptists frequently state that we believe the Bible from cover to cover, that it is the Word of the Living God, and that it is our only guide for faith and practice. That sounds very good on the surface, but it quite often proves not to be the case. Saying we believe it does not necessarily conform our practice to our statements.

Early in the 19th Century, Christians were convinced of the truth and accuracy of the Word of God. Then something happened that caught them off guard. Along came the idea of evolution, popularized but not originated by Charles Darwin. Evolution, along with the uniformitarian geology of Charles Lyell, convinced many people that science had “proven” the universe and the earth to be billions of years old. It is interesting to note that neither of these “gods” of the evolution religion were scientists. Darwin’s degree was in theology – something against which he rebelled. Lyell was a lawyer.

As the idea of evolution became popular and widely-accepted, many Christian leaders chose to capitulate rather than stand on the firm foundation of the Word of God. After all, they were men of God, not men of science. If science (based on the words of a rebellious theologian and a lawyer) had “proven” a great age for the earth, then it must be so. Christians were not qualified to question science, even if it contradicted God’s revealed truth.

Many well-meaning Christian leaders have attempted to harmonize the Genesis account of creation with accepted geology and its teaching of billions of years for the age of the earth. Christian theologians tried to reconcile the time scale of world history found in Genesis with the popular belief that scientists had "undeniable" evidence that the world is extremely old. This resulted in new teachings such as “theistic evolution” and “progressive creation,” both of which deny the Word of God. As is typical of compromise positions, the Scripture takes a beating, and the final message is watered down and weakened, with mortal man taking the driver’s seat and the God of the universe relegated to a position of insignificance.

Such things would not happen if Christians would stand unashamedly and without compromise for the absolute truth of the Word of God. God meant what He said and said what He meant. He told us what we need to know, and He did not fool us by presenting it in some way that was not true but that we could understand. Understanding of falsehood is of no value. A “god” who would do such a thing is not God, because he is a deceiver. But the Bible refers to God as the one “who cannot lie.”

Today, we are facing a similar situation in the area of education. This reality has been underscored in recent days by the lawsuit filed in August of 2005 by ACSI against the University of California System. I believe that the State Department of Education, the UC system, and other secular "educational" organizations are being used to undermine and ultimately destroy Christian schools. The circumstances that brought about this lawsuit should underscore the fact that the forces of evil will do anything to put an end to any Christian influence.

The UC system tipped its hand...when it demanded that schools, whether accredited or not, stop using Christian textbooks if they wanted to have their courses approved. This move on their part demonstrates that they are not our friends. Clearly, they are an enemy of Christian education. However, any Christian educator who might have predicted such a thing just a few years ago would have been considered an “alarmist” by most of his colleagues.

Just as Christians of the past swallowed the line of the so-called scientists, so today many Christian educators have swallowed the line of the self-appointed gurus of education. After all, they are the experts. Who are we to question them? It is important to meet their standards, no matter how much we have to compromise the truth. They might not accept our students into their ungodly and humanistic universities if we don’t fall in line and walk lockstep with them. This is very clearly an issue of power and control, and perhaps money, too.

Following such a line of reasoning ultimately causes a school to become something other than a Christian school. It doesn’t happen all at once. Instead, it happens a step at a time – a little here and a little there. Before the leadership of a school knows it, and without even trying, the school can become little more than a public school with tuition. Once that point is reached, there is very little reason for a school to continue to pretend it is a Christian school.

Our doctrinal statement contains the following section:

“Civil government is of divine origin and appointment for the interest and order of human society. Civil authorities are to be prayed for, honored, and obeyed in their legitimate, God-ordained spheres of responsibility. When civil authorities contradict or oppose the authoritative Word of God, the church must obey God.” (Matthew 22:21; Acts 5:29; Romans 13:1-7; I Timothy 2:1,2 )

It may get worse before it gets better. Nowhere are we guaranteed a smooth and easy path as we serve the Lord here on this earth. Attempts by the State of California and the University of California to ultimately control or destroy Christian schools can no longer be hidden. They have made their intentions crystal clear. We cannot allow ourselves to be taken in by them, and we certainly can't continue to join forces with them.

Psalm 1 is very clear about this. We are not to seek the counsel of the ungodly – those who leave God out – no matter how important they may pretend to be.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the LORD…For the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly shall perish.” (Psalm 1:1-2,6 NKJV)

The greatest educator in history is our Lord Jesus Christ, and His schools do not need the input of the secular world. The only thing that can come of that is the secularization of Christian schools. When that happens, Christian schools will, in fact, exist in name only.

It is imperative that we stand on conviction rather than preference. According to David Gibbs of the Christian Law Association, this is a legal point. He says that “a preference is a strongly-held belief; but a conviction is a belief that you will go to jail for.” If Christian schools exist only as a matter of preference, when the going gets tough, those schools will fold. Only if we operate as a matter of conviction will we be able to stand, and stand we must. BCS will only be blessed if we remain a truly Christian school, and that will happen only if we have the conviction to stand for right and for truth, no matter what the cost. When it comes right down to it, it would be better to be forced to close our doors for taking a stand for right than it would be to compromise and continue to operate as a Christian school in name only. We must, by our actions, demonstrate that we really do believe the Bible is the infallible, unchangeable Word of God. May we stand for right, and may God grant victory over evil in “this present evil age.”

Ron Livesay is the Administrator at Baptist Christian School in Hemet, CA
www.bcswarriors.org

Thursday, November 8, 2007

The Rhinoceros


Rhinoceros, your hide looks all undone,

You do not take my fancy in the least;

You have a horn where other brutes have none;

Rhinoceros, you are an ugly beast.


Hilaire Belloc

Edubabble Bingo

If you are a conservative Christian who happens to be a schoolteacher, you must be really frustrated and conflicted by two opposing world views. If you can maintain your sanity and accomplish any degree of success in your attempts to teach your students how to read and write and count and think, then my hat is off to you; you are a better man (women included in this generic noun) than I.

From time to time you are probably compelled to accumulate CEUs by attending training sessions or seminars in order to maintianing your credentials. Aren't you just bored silly with puffed-up, sweaty, over-weight educrats and wannabe seminar speakers spouting their latest drivel of PC eduspeak? Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars where they talk about recontextualized synergistic action plans? What about those long and boring trade conferences with their latest plans to unleash global facilitators? Here's a great way to enjoy yourself, pass the time more quickly and protect your mind from recontextualized brain-compatible interfaces, extended technology-enhanced systems and other ad nauseum edubabble blathering.

1. Before your next meeting, seminar, or conference, prepare your "Edubabble Bingo" card on your note pad by drawing a large square and dividing it into five vertical columns and five horizontal rows. That will give you 25 blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block: synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, discovery learning, ESLRs, fast track, rubric, remedial, pilot program, critical thinking, multiple intelligences, proactive, facilitator, homogeneous grouping, outcome based, social constructs, empower (or empowerment), paradigm shift, aptitude assessment, confluence, matrix, focus group, self-esteem, child-centered, result-driven.

3. During the seminar or meeting, take out your pen and notepad (the speaker will be really impressed and everyone will think you are paying attention and taking notes). Check off the appropriate block whenever you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks in a row, horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "HOMESCHOOLING MAKES MORE SENSE!"

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Monday, November 5, 2007

Dress Code for the Old Folks' Home

Dear Residents of The Old Folks' Home,

Dress codes are necessary in school where foolish young people have not yet developed good sense and discernment about what is appropriate attire. And, even here among the employees, some need to be told what is acceptable in order to project a conservative Christian image.

However, I’m embarrassed to have to address this subject with you, the residents. At your ages, one would think you should know better. But evidently some of you are either quite confused about current fashion trends or you are just plain outrageous, inconsiderate and disrespectful to the sensibilities of the others in your senior community.

Therefore I must establish some dress code guidelines for residents. Despite what you may have seen on the streets or what you think is fashionable, the following “wardrobe malfunctions, are not pleasing to the eye, they DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. Nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. Pierced tongues and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. Belly button rings and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
And last, but not least, the most obnoxious and disgusting:
13. Thongs and Depends

Please be considerate of others and keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you come out of your rooms.
Thank you,
The Administrator