Honestly folks, I really have been trying hard to tone down the sarcasm but sometimes I just can't help it. After the last exchange between the DNC and me over their "thanks for your support" and "please send more money" appeals, I was sure they would remove my name from their mail list out of sheer embarrassment. But no, I was wrong. Instead, this time I got a “personal” greeting from the "savior of the world”** himself. Barack even said to me, “if you make a donation before midnight, you could join me at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. I'm looking forward to seeing you soon.”
Of course, out of courtesy, I responded with this personal note:
To say that you are arrogant is a misnomer. I know some very arrogant people and, believe me, I don't think you're arrogant. I think you must be the dumbest rock in the whole pile. Either that or you are borderline certifiable.
How can you send me this email? How can you possibly think that I am a supporter? Do you and the DNC really believe that I am going to donate anything to your campaign? Have you been smoking something illegal again?
And do you really think I am ignorant enough to believe that you are personally inviting me to accompany you to the DNC convention? Even if that were true, I wouldn’t walk across the street to see you for free.
On a positive note though, I do enjoy sharing this stuff on my blog for the amusement of others. So I want to thank you and your cronies for keeping me well supplied with fresh, new material.
Just so you know, the five bucks you asked me for, I'm sending that to the RNC. That really hurts me to do that; I’m disappointed in their non-conservative candidate and the party has become far too liberal and unprincipled for me. Nevertheless, at least they don’t insult my intelligence with this kind of CODSWALLOP (I wanted to say something else but my wife wouldn’t let me).
Respectfully, your friend,
Ralph M. Petersen
P.S. My original offer still stands, buddy. Call me if you need me to be your running mate. Luv ya, man.