Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Three Little Pigs by William Shakespeare

Very funny rendition of the fairy tale as it might have read if Shakespeare had written it.

But, apart from the humor, one of the interesting and unfortunate facts about our language, as John points out, is that Shakespeare had a working vocabulary of 54,000 words.  Today, in the United States, we have a working vocabulary of 3,000 words.  It's no wonder we have such a hard time reading and understanding classic literature.





HT:  to Jon D. Shimeall for sharing this.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Everything Changed When The Baby Arrived

In Bret Harte’s story, “The Luck of Roaring Camp,” he describes the camp as the meanest, vilest mining town in the entire West. No other town could come close to matching Roaring Camp’s reputation for murders or thefts. It was a terrible place and it was inhabited entirely by men with the exception of only one tough woman named Cherokee Sal who died while giving birth to a baby.

The men of the town didn’t know what to do with the baby. They found an old box, stuffed it full of rags and nestled the baby in the crude, makeshift crib. But they decided that the box wasn’t suitable for the newborn so they sent one of the men on an eighty-mile trip to purchase a new rosewood cradle. When he brought it back, they arranged the rags in the cradle and placed the baby in her new bed. But then the old rags just didn't seem right in the new cradle so another miner made a trip to Sacramento to buy some beautiful silk and lace baby blankets.

Finally they had a bed fit for the baby and they thought everything looked fine until someone happened to notice how filthy the floor was. Soon, some of the tough, hardened men got down on their hands and knees, and began scrubbing the floor. The clean floor stood in stark contrast to the dingy walls and the smoke-stained ceiling. And the dirty, bare windows looked awful. So they cleaned and polished and painted and they hung curtains in the windows. At last, things were beginning to look appropriate for the home of a newborn baby.

It wasn’t very long before the men began making some other concessions. Their language changed and the atmosphere in Roaring Camp turned noticeably more civil and serene. They had to give up their fighting (the baby needed lots of sleep and babies can't sleep very well during brawls and gunfights). Sometimes, when the weather was nice, the men would take her out and set her in her cradle by the entrance to the mine so they could see her when they came up. Then somebody noticed how dirty the mine entrance was so they planted a very nice flower garden there. It was quite a beautiful place for the baby. All the men gave her lots of attention and they brought her shiny little stones and hand made toys. But when they saw their own hands next to hers, they realized just how dirty they were. Pretty soon the general store was all sold out of soap, shaving gear and perfumes. Everything about Roaring Camp changed when that baby arrived.

The incarnation was like that. The coming of Christ to a feeding trough in a dirty, smelly stable seems strange but when the Almighty God entered into this wicked world in the form of a helpless little baby, everything changed.

There is a place that is even dirtier than that stable and more wicked than Roaring Camp. It is the human heart. But when Jesus Christ enters into our lives, things begin to happen. He slips into every crevice of our thoughts and experiences. He gently makes us aware of all the things that aren’t right in our lives and He begins to clean us up and make us fit for Him to live in us. Everything changes when He is born in our Hearts.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Cor. 5:17

Sunday, December 18, 2011

"Filling The World He Lies In A Manger" Augustine

"The claim that Christianity makes for Christmas is that at a particular time and place God came to be with us Himself. When Quirinius was governor of Syria, in a town called Bethlehem, a child was born who, beyond the power of anyone to account for, was the high and lofty One made low and helpless. The One who inhabits eternity comes to dwell in time. The One whom none can look upon and live is delivered in a stable under the soft, indifferent gaze of cattle. The Father of all mercies puts Himself at our mercy."
Frederick Buechner


Filling the world he lies in a manger.



In this poem written some 15 centuries ago, Augustine tried to capture the mystery of the Incarnation:


Maker of the sun,
He is made under the sun.
In the Father he remains,
From his mother he goes forth.
Creator of heaven and earth,
He was born on earth under heaven.
Unspeakably wise,
He is wisely speechless.
Filling the world,
He lies in a manger.
Ruler of the stars,
He nurses at his mother's bosom.
He is both great in the nature of God,
and small in the form of a servant.

Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

Friday, December 16, 2011

My Favorite Cell Phone Ringtone


I have used this ringtone for about a year.  I thought I was the only one using it.  I haven't heard it anywhere else.  My wife HATES it and she is embarrassed every time I get a call in a public place.   But I think it's fun and very patriotic in a sarcastic kind of way.

Today I received an email from a friend who forwarded it to me.   Apparently it has attained "Most Popular  RING TONE" status and is a hit in New York City.  



Give it a try and see what you think.

Christmastime Food Court Flash Mob

A spectacular flash mob interruption in a busy mall at Christmastime last year. 

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Michelle Obama Wants To Meet ME?


TO:                  The Campaign To Reelect Barack Obama


Okay, so in my past correspondence, I admit, I have been overly sarcastic.  But this time I am serious and I really hope that someone there will take the time to READ THIS LETTER.

I'm guessing that is probably hard for most of you because, since you continue to keep me on your email list, and constantly thank me for my support (which has been zero), and persistently ask me for more money, it is obvious THAT YOU HAVE NEVER READ MY LETTERS BEFORE.  If you had, you would have known that I NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL EVER SUPPORT OBAMA. 

Furthermore, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN RECEIVING A PERSONAL INVITATION TO HAVE DINNER WITH HIM.

And what’s up with Michelle?  Is my picture listed in some singles connection site or something?  Why does she tell me that she would like to meet me?  Does her husband know about that?  Please tell her that I AM NOT INTERESTED IN MEETING HER!  And, besides, I certainly don’t want to sit down to dinner with someone who wants to deprive me of all the tasty junk food I like so that I can be AS SKINNY AS SHE IS.

I do not want my name entered into a phony drawing to have dinner with the King and Queen of Amerika even if it only costs me $3.00.  In fact, I WOULDN’T WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO SEE THEM IF IT WAS FREE.

Why would I want to socialize with enemies of my country?  Why would I support someone who has declared war on our constitution and our rights?

I am not your friend.  I don’t want to golf, or have a beer, or even a friendly chat with the One who has vilified patriotic and God-fearing Americans and whose policies have destroyed our jobs, property values, freedoms, and our economy, our industries, and our hopes.

I am NOT SENDING YOU $3.00.  We, the taxpayers have been ROBBED OF FAR TOO MUCH ALREADY and the Campaigner-In-Chief has WASTED FAR TOO MUCH OF IT.

SO PLEASE, IF THERE IS NO ONE THERE WHO CAN READ BIG WORDS, I WILL TRY TO MAKE THIS REAL SIMPLE ONCE AGAIN BECAUSE YOU KEEP MISSING IT (or you are all dumber than rocks):

·      QUIT ASKING ME FOR MONEY!

·      TAKE MY NAME OFF YOUR EMAIL LIST!

·      LEAVE ME (AND MY GUNS and pitchforks) ALONE!

·      GO POUND SAND!


Please pass this on to Barack, Michelle, Joe, and anyone else who has been sending me contribution requests.  

I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas.

Respectfully yours,






Ralph M. Petersen


Delivered by return email on 12-15-11

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Holiday Fun For My Twin Grandsons

I am posting this one again this year especially for my youngest grandsons.  Parker and Cooper, who will be four years old in January, both learned to belch this year.  Their mother is going to hate me for this.


Friday, December 9, 2011

The Great Liberal Challenge--Go Ahead, I Dare You!



Politically speaking, I am a conservative because I am a Christian.  Not that Christianity is political, but when it comes to how I vote and what I believe about my national citizenship, my Christian faith absolutely requires a consistent conservative political, economic, and social position because it is compatible with biblical truth.
 
I cannot think of one single liberal position, objective, concept, belief, persuasion, tenet, ideology, principle, solution, theory, viewpoint, or conviction of the left in any matters of governance, economics, environmentalism, social issues, or even religion that are not diametrically opposed to the teachings of biblical Christianity.  In fact, I think the term "liberal Christian" is an oxymoron.

So there's the challenge.  If you can think of any position of the left that is complimentary to a biblical Christian worldview, please let me know.   And, if you are successful, I will publicly repent here on my blog.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Santa Claus is Not the First Person of the Trinity

A few years ago a friend told me about an incident that occurred in his church. His wife was the church organist and one Sunday morning, while she was softly playing underneath the prayer of the pastor, she smoothly transitioned into a very slow, soothing rendition of “Mary Had A Little Lamb.” Because the tempo was so slow, no one even noticed.

We laughed about that at the time but I was puzzled about how that could even happen without notice. I was convinced that something like that would not happen in most churches and could never happen in my church. However, secular music is not unusual in a lot of churches today.

From start to finish, usually every element of a church’s worship service is carefully planned to accomplish a purpose. But the important question is, “What is the purpose?” The answer to that question determines what a congregation will or will not tolerate.

There are two opposing ideologies about the purpose of corporate worship services. One idea is to market the event to be attractive to a broad spectrum of unchurched and unregenerated “seekers” in hopes of engaging their emotions and tastes with the goal of eventually exposing them to the personal benefits of Christianity. In that model, entertainment and familiarity are key environmental factors to entice them in and much of the content is focused on the participants.

On the other hand, biblical worship is intended to make God the center of all attention. All worship is to Him and for Him. Any element that could detract attention from God to anyone else is avoided. Anything designed for the entertainment of the congregation is inappropriate.

You can tell a lot about a church’s philosophy and purpose by observing what they do in their “worship services.”

During one Christmas season I attended a church service where the opening music, the Call To Worship, was a Christmas medley. The titles of the songs in the medley included “Jolly Old St. Nicholas,” “Deck the Halls,” “Up On The Housetop,” “Here Comes Santa Claus,” “Jingle Bells” and others.

It was very clear that the music in that church that morning was intended for entertainment; not for worship. It focused everyone’s attention on a mythical, fat old elf in a red suit instead of the birth of the Son of God who was born to die so that He could save His people.

We should remember that, as much as some people would like to think that God should give us lots of good stuff just for being good, Santa Clause is NOT the first person of the
Trinity.

Awesome, Inspiring Tenor, David Phelps Sings "O Holy Night"



David Phelps

Monday, December 5, 2011

Is Stupidity A Prerequisite For Public Employment?

Hard to believe?  Hard to believe?  

NO!  It's NOT hard to believe.




Why would we expect TSA security agents to be any smarter than public school teachers and administrators?

OH!  They probly lernt this stuff in publik skools.

It's just a good thing that she didn't point her loaded finger at someone.